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Boston globe To these queer ears, the supreme judicial court decision on gay marriage seems awfully clear.Justices wrote: "The massachusetts constitution affirms the dignity and equality of all individuals.It forbids the creation of secondclass citizens. "To paraphrase, these elegant elders of the bench have declared: "Bust out the pomegranate martinis and let's get this gay marriage party started. " It's disappointing that officials on beacon hill are now looking to make gay Marriage a secondclass affair by watering down the word"Marriage"To the dreaded"Civil union. "What on earth are these folks so frightened of? Let me start by assuring those of you who frequent the olive garden(That's our little code for"Straight")That gay people will not begin abducting heterosexuals and forcing them into marriage unless, of course, said heterosexual is named hugh jackman.To put it bluntly, if this 3, 000yearold institution can survive the macabre union of liza minnelli and david gest, it can certainly survive the marriage of a pair of unassuming roslindale lesbians. But after much careful thought, i've figured out what's really eating these gilbert grapes.They are not afraid that gay marriage will unravel the moral fabric of society hotel heiress paris hilton and joe millionaire have already taken care of that quite nicely.Nope, they are afraid of losing at their own game.Everybody knows that if there's one thing gay men can do aside from giving frumpy heterosexual men fabulous makeovers it's throw a party. Gay weddings will easily outshine the classiest of heterosexual nuptials.From the outfits to the flower arrangements to the weddingday hair that looks as if it's been shellacked to the scalp, everyone knows it's the gay men who make the magic happen.We've been planning these affairs for others for years.Finally, we can plan our own, and you can Cheap Bridesmaid Dresses Australia bet your sweet dowry that they're going to be absolutely fabulous.There will be no paper wedding bells, no jack and jills, no chicken dance, and for the love of god, no bob seger's"Old time rock 'n' roll"At the reception. And because boston is destined to become the las vegas of gay weddings, the reminder of homosexual party superiority will be flashing in the face of these elected officials like one of elton john's pinkie rings in the june sunshine as couples buzz in and out of the soontobebuilt wedding chapels in cambridge.I can understand how this could be a hard lavender pill for proud heteros to swallow. On a personal note, i welcome the opportunity to finally trade vows with http://www.agebc.com/special-occasion-dresses/evening-dresses.html My partner primarily because i'm tired of calling him"My partner. "It sounds as though i live with a lawyer.There is no good gay equivalent for the word"Spouse. "The word"Lover"Sounds too unseemly, and"Boyfriend"Should be restricted to the halls of degrassi junior high. "Husband"Is the preferred alternative. I also welcome the opportunity to marry for the economic advantages it will provide, and i'm not referring to health insurance or tax benefits.I'm talking wedding booty.Every spring, i schlep through crate and barrel, filling the wedding registries of friends and relatives.I've shelled out hundreds for hurricane lamps and chipanddip platters;It's time for some instant karma.I've even www.agebc.com/special-occasion-dresses/homecoming-dresses.html heard straight friends confess that they invite gays and lesbians to their wedding because they give good gifts.It's time the gay friends got their slice of the quiche.Of course, i'd need to marry as many times as liz taylor to fully recoup my losses, but registering at crate and barrel, pottery barn, and bloomie's is a good place to start.On the invitation, i'll specify that my thricemarried uncle must purchase a gift from each registry. My 80yearold grandmother sent me an email shortly after the decision was handed down.The subject line read"Sjc,"And her message was simply"Yippee! "This woman comes from a generation for which"Yippee"Is not a sarcastic exclamation but a true expression of joy.Truth be told, she and my grandfather are what you might call party animals and are probably only excited for the opportunity to polka in a public setting;But even so, if my wise, partyloving grandparents can muster a yippee for my impending nuptials, i'm hoping the folks on beacon hill can, too.They're all welcome to attend the wedding, and they won't even have to buy a hurricane lamp.

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